George Bush’Äôs Prayer for Relief

by Frank Lesser

My fellow Americans,

Over the past week, many of you witnessed a tragedy of unprecedented scale on the TV sets in your living room. Other folks witnessed the tragedy firsthand on the streets of their troubled city. But I am not speaking to this second group of Americans, since they are not watching this address on television, because their televisions are under water. And if they are watching this on television, it is probably a looted television, although where they are getting cable from I don’Äôt know.

To those of you in the first group: First off, I want to congratulate you folks. Thank you for not being poor and living in New Orleans. It has made the federal government’Äôs job a lot easier. Sometimes I think that is truly the silver lining here, that so many Americans are not poor and living in New Orleans. Or, at least, just not living in New Orleans. If you are poor elsewhere, that’Äôs not so great either, and maybe you should do something about it. We need more good folks’Äîmore good, poor, black folks’Äîover in Iraq. Just an idea. Just sending out feelers. But I can’Äôt tell you what to do, because that isn’Äôt my job. This isn’Äôt Russia, this is America. And we are all Americans here. We are all Americans.

Now, some folks in the media and other branches of government are already playing partisan politics, playing the blame game, asking, ’ÄúWhere was the federal government immediately after the disaster, after the scale of the disaster was known?’Äù

But let me ask these folks a question. Did the entire country flood? No. Did a part of the country flood? Some would say yes. But to say a mostly local problem like this is the national government’Äôs problem is like saying when your foot hurts you should have your tonsils out. It’Äôs like saying when you have recurrent heartburn you should be euthanized. This type of thinking, it’Äôs a culture of death. Terri Schiavo.

If you think the federal government is supposed to step in every time someone gets himself sick, or is injured on the job, or trips over a homeless person, or starts drowning, then you are sadly mistaken about the job of the federal government. We’Äôre not a babysitter. We’Äôre not a doctor. We’Äôre not a lifeguard, not a big, brawny man sitting on a raised wooden platform surveying the beach and protecting swimmers, making sure there are no sharks. But let me tell you this: If we were that big, brawny man, we would move heaven and earth to save you from those sharks, America. I promise you that with all my soul.

Now, some folks, especially those in the media, those who hate America, these folks are going to play partisan politics, play the blame game. They’Äôre going to ask, ’ÄúIf you’Äôre not the lifeguard, then where are the lifeguards, Mr. President?’Äù But that is not’Ķ It’Äôs not a federal issue; it is a state and local issue. Ask the mayor and the governor where the lifeguards are. And I am sure they will say to you, ’ÄúWe don’Äôt know. We just don’Äôt know. All of this is our fault, America. Entirely our fault.’Äù

Look, there’Äôs been a lot of this judging going around Washington recently. Lots of judging. Activist judging. People are asking what the federal government is doing, what FEMA is doing, what FEMA is supposed to do, what FEMA is. I had many of these questions myself, so I understand what a lot of good folks are going through, questionwise.

I’Äôm sure after Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, people were playing blame games, too, asking, ’ÄúWhere was the federal government?’Äù But to answer that question would be to mix religion and politics’Äîand I know what you’Äôre thinking, but I’Äôm not going to do that.

I’Äôm not going to play the blame game. Because now is not the time for games; it’Äôs time for the opposite of games. Unless the game is a game of resolve and resolute action. I will play that game. And we will win that game together, America.

You might remember that picture, the picture of me with that guitar right after the tragedy. That wasn’Äôt me ’Äúplaying the guitar.’Äù I was writing disaster relief songs on the guitar. And I’Äôd like to share one of them with you, a disaster relief song I wrote to soothe the soul of America. It is to the tune of ’ÄúHail to the Chief.’Äù I call it ’ÄúPray for Relief.’Äù

Pray for relief, there’Äôs a city under water
Pray for relief, there’Äôs a sleeper cell next door
Pray for relief from the death tax on your daughters
Don’Äôt pray to FEMA, ’Äôcause that’Äôs what Christ is for.

Pray for the people who’Äôve lost other people
And pray for the people who’Äôve lost the right to life
I’Äôm talkin’Äô ’Äôbout people who are unborn people
That’Äôs why I wrote this song, I call it, ’ÄúPray for Relife.’Äù

Has the mayor written a song yet? Has the governor? That is a failure in leadership on the local and state levels, and I promise you, America, I will hold them accountable.

God bless you, and God bless America.

Photo Illustration: Boing Boing